IN THE SILENCE

Sometimes, Lord, you know, I let go of your hand and turn my back on you and sit down by the side of the pathway. You know that I do this. You know.

And always you sigh and stop and sit down beside me, whether I know it or not, whether I acknowledge it or not. And I know, deep down, that you are there, that I must go on, even though I say I won’t go any farther, and refuse all comfort.

But deep down, I know I will go, because I must, and I know that you know, and you know that I know you know, but you don’t ever say it, except in my heart.

And what I really want is for you to love me and to stay with me, when all the time it is I who is withholding the love and refusing to go on with you.

Forgive me. Thank you for putting up with me, with my tantrums. Thank you for your patience and love and compassion and most of all for staying with me through it all.

{From A Journal of the Spirit, a Journey of the Soul, by D.C. Ice, Sept. 28-Oct. 1, 1987}