Brother Lawrence in The Practice of the Presence of God says "If we do what we can on our parts, we shall soon see that change wrought in us which we aspire after." Easier said than done. You have to live moment by moment--"in the now"--if you are to consciously choose anything other than your habitual response. It requires patience and self-control--both of which I find in short supply! But when I do change my thoughts, things change as well. "Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2) And conversely, I've found it to be true that we can be renewed by the transforming of our minds.

BEYOND FORGIVENESS
Alexandra Stoddard has a good one today in her Grace Notes: "Don't fight back. It's better to go for a long walk than raise your blood pressure. You are in control of how you respond to the behavior of others, not how well or badly others behave." Reminds me of the song, "The Gambler"--"You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run." But what happens if you can't walk or run away?

Doctors are taught to handle difficult patients by pausing and acknowledging their own anger, listening to the negativity, and then empathizing with the person, which doesn’t mean agreeing with them, but rather offering understanding, compassion, and sympathy. We can do the same.

I think for me one of life's hardest lessons has been to know when to stand and fight and when "to accept whatever is," surrender, and get on with my life. I'm still learning.

TEAM PLAYERS
While watching football and basketball games on TV, I noticed that the true team player comforts the player who failed to catch the ball or to score and encourages him or her. This keeps the teammate from focusing so much on their failure that they mess up the next time too.

Too many jobs, schools, and families foster a spirit of blame and competition, in which the "team" member who succeeds is the one who puts down the others or who, at least, doesn't help them.

A spirit of helpful cooperation and support helps the whole team, whether it's in a game or on a job. Why then do we see so much emphasis on competition within the group? The ones we're supposed to be competing against are the OTHER team or our business RIVALS, not our own people.

IN THE SILENCE

If I try to forgive out of my own strength and ask God to forgive, as well, I find I cannot. Secretly, I am hoping to heap coals of fire on their heads, praying that God will avenge me.

Only when I reach beyond and become aware of my oneness with God, knowing that I cannot be separated from Him no matter what happens, and that He loves me eternally, can I forgive and know the forgiveness is real and in God’s hands, as I am.

{From A Journal of the Spirit, a Journey of the Soul, by D.C. Ice, Jan. 7, 1996.}